It's been a while since I blogged. Every day I think of something witty I want to write, but then.....well, it just doesn't happen. But for the last 10 days or so I've had something on my mind and I want to get it off.
Let me start by saying that I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY I LOOK. I have ALWAYS thought I was too fat. Ever since I was 8 years old, I've always been the "chubby" one of the group. It's funny, because when I see pictures of myself at that age, I WAS NOT FAT! But, I guess everything is relative, and I know that I always felt fat.
When I was in 8th grade, I dated a great guy who was two years older than me. When I say he was great, I mean he was really HOT! All the girls were in love with him. I don't think anyone could understand why he liked me, since I was not what anyone would call a "babe". Anyway, we "dated" for almost three years. Then one day, he decided to dump me for a girl who was a year older than me. It was a very complicated situation. They got married right after she graduated, had two boys, and divorced. I haven't seen or heard from him in over 30 years, but I think about him a lot. He really liked me, did NOT think I was fat. He always told me I was beautiful, and I actually believed him. It was a long time before another man said those words to me.
So, this brings me to the TV show "Drop Dead Diva". It's a "chick" show on Lifetime Television on Sunday night. It's not going to win any awards, and it may only last this one season, but I really like it because of the basic premise: Hot, sexy, THIN, 20 ish blond model-type dies unexpectedly in a car accident. Through the magic of TV, she ends up in the body of a size 14, very bright attorney. It just so happens that her fiance gets a job at her law firm. What's really interesting to watch is how she adapts/adjusts to life in her new body. Her best friend--who is a young, blond, thin, model-actress and very ditsy--knows the truth, but no one else.
There are some very interesting stories, but I really liked the last two episodes. Jane saw an add for a dress that she really wanted. Of course, the boutique that carried the dress did not carry anything larger than a size 10. They treated her very rudely, and basically told her to leave because she wasn't the silhouette they catered to. She tried to sue the store. Although she didn't win the case, she was able to convince a stockholder (whose wife was a size 14 and couldn't shop in the store) that it was in the best "business" interest of the store to carry sizes for all women. The average women in this country wears a size 14, so you do the math!
The last episode centered around an attorney who really likes Jane and asked her out. Her mother put the idea in her head that the only reason he liked her was because she was "full figured". This had never occurred to Jane. She thought he liked her because he liked her. Turns out he likes her because she is beautiful, smart and sexy!
One of the best things about the show is for Jane to see what it's like to not be thin in the world we live in. When a person is heavy, he/she is treated differently than someone who is thin or not overweight. It is a fact of life, and no one can ever tell me differently. I have been there, and I see it all the time. People are much nicer to meet and more inclusive when I'm thinner than when I'm heavier. Yes, it is a cruel world out there. Kids are not the only mean people in the world. I wish it weren't so, but it is. A fact of life.
If you don't believe me, watch a movie called "Fat Like Me". A high school student needs to do a project to enter a contest for a college scholarship. She is a hot, thin, athletic blond. Her mom struggles with her weight, although now she has it under control. She remembers when her mom was heavy, and was very angry at the time. She decides to transform herself into a fat girl. She goes to summer school dressed in a fat suit, with her hair all messy, wearing glasses. Of course, all the guys that thought she was so hot now tease her to no end. She is befriended by one overweight, very sweet student.
Again, not the best movie ever made, but it shows how the real world treats people who are not only not beautiful, but fat. I'm so tired of hearing about racism in this country. Does it still exist, absolutely. But people are prejudiced toward a lot of things. My husband is Chinese, and when he was in grade school, he was teased, mocked and ridiculed mercilessly. There were not many Asians in the school system in the 60's, and if you were different, you were a walking target. It still exists today. You don't have to be from a different country or have different skin color. If you don't fit "the mold" then somehow people feel they have a license to treat you different (i.e. usually like garbage).
We have worked very hard to teach our kids that this is not acceptable. From what I see, it's worked. They are really good around the kids that are not popular, smart, or the most athletic. They understand the each person is special to God, and the golden rule is very important in our home.
So, as I once again struggle with the fact that I really don't like how I look, I try to remember that how I look IS NOT who I am. I am never going to be a size 4, heck, if I can get back to a size 8 I would jump off the roof with joy. But after 54 years on this earth, I need to accept myself the way I am. A very wise woman told me yesterday that I am healthy, fit, and to just get over my weight issues. I totally agreed with her. If only it were that easy.
So, the next time you see an overweight person, please don't assume that they are lazy, stupid, dumb, and don't care about the way they look. If you are blessed enough to have (or work hard at having) a great, fit body--good for you! Just remember, not everyone is in the same boat.
Until next time--God bless!