Tough Week, Pity Party, Strong Faith

It's been a tough week in almost every way. The weather is really wreaking havoc with my body--I think I'm having a full blown RA attack. Tired, nauseous, bad appetite, joint and muscle pain, depression....yeah, just about everything.

I really tried to back off my workouts this week. In fact, I actually took Thursday off. Well, it wasn't really a "rest" day as we prepared our bedroom for the new bed, which was supposed to arrive on Friday. Hubby took Thursday off work to dismantle the waterbed (no simple task--we haven't done it since we moved 10 years ago!) and clean the carpeting.

We were told by phone Thursday night that delivery would be between 9:30 and 11:30 on Friday. I needed to take Peanut to her coop class, so Hubby took the morning off work. Soooo....I get a voice message from him telling me that the company (who he WORKS FOR!!!) called to say that, uh, your mattresses aren't on the truck. Need to reschedule! WHAT!!!! Long story short, it's one of the ways they "save" money (but if you ask me, lose customers!). How absolutely stupid. Because he works for the company, he made several calls to let management know what happened. Turns out they're in the process of "changing the delivery process". Well, I should certainly hope so. It's a wonder the company is still in business!

So, delivery is now scheduled for Tuesday. We were thinking of painting the room since it's almost totally empty, but Hubby has a lot going this weekend, and I'm feeling really crummy, so it may have to wait after all.

Friday was a really stinky day! Rode on my trainer for 1.5 hours early, dropped Peanut off at her coop and headed over for a swim. It was a miserable swim. The water was cold, I never warmed up, and everything hurt--especially my stomach. You may know how difficult it is to swim when you're stomach is upset and you feel nauseous. I kept telling myself I should just stop--but NOOOOO! I finished the entire 2500 meters in spite of feeling awful.

After I showered, I realized I had one of those horrible headaches I've been getting. YUK! I felt like my head was going to explode. I had too much to do the rest of the day, so resting was out of the question. Turned out Hubby didn't have to work last night, so he was able to pick up Peanut from the gym.

In the meantime, I had a major meltdown at home. Sick, tired, sore, headache, fat, bloated, starving, don't feel like eating, blah, blah, blah! Went to bed feeling miserable with the whole family ready to throw me out the window!

After an OK sleep (I was so hungry it was hard to sleep much) I woke up early and decided I had to shake this depression. Dropped Peanut at the gym early (she had an 8:00 practice today--normally it's 11:00) and headed for an inside workout. The fitness center I visit on weekends was closed last week for remodeling. I was really looking forward to some new treadmills. Well......it turns out all the treadmills were replaced, but none with the kind that I like (they have a more forgiving belt). Rats! I felt lousy but somehow made it through the strength training session.

Got on the treadmill not knowing how far/long I would run--1-2 hours/5-10 miles. I decided to try a new nutrition again (Perpetuem--last time didn't go so well). Bad idea. After about an hour my stomach really started to bother me. I was sweating like crazy, but freezing cold from the air conditioning. Everything was hurting, including my feet (need to wear my new shoes) but again, I WAS NOT GOING TO QUIT! I finally stopped at 10.5 miles because I ran out of liquids. YEAH, MADE IT!

Well, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom after that run--at the gym and again at home! Yuk. I still feel kind of shaky now.

That pity party thing--has to do with the whole weight issue. We were supposed to go to a big banquet tomorrow night--found out yesterday it's "formal attire". I have nothing even resembling that, and what I do have I can't squeeze into, and I don't have the time, money or ambition to go out and buy something. So--it ain't happening, which is OK with both of us. My head/mind/body is a mess regarding my weight. Just don't know how to solve the whole issue. I keep saying I'll let it go--but I just can't. In fact, I decided this a.m. that if I can't get to a good racing weight next summer--there IS NOT going to be any racing. HA! Maybe that will help, but I'm not that optimistic.

So, I'm driving home, listening to some Christian rock on the radio and thinking how horrible my life would feel right now if I didn't have my faith. The world is a mess, and frankly, I'm not convinced that the "new administration" has the answers for our country. I feel like garbage and I really don't like the way I look. I do believe, however, that God is in control of all things. ALL THINGS! That includes this crazy world and its politics, and most importantly my life. I will continue to leave myself in His hands.

Hoping to feel better soon. A big shout out to my friends racing in Arizona next week. I hope you enjoy the warm weather and have great races! Have a safe trip and a fun time.

Until next time--God bless!