I've had a couple more days to try to pull myself together since my last post. I admit, it's not really getting much easier. I was able to speak over the phone with one friend, via e-mail with another, and I was nearly in tears both times. Elizabeth and Gail were encouraging and congratulatory, regardless of the outcome. Thanks, ladies, you're the best.
Since hardly a minute goes by when I'm not thinking about the race, I decided to dwell on the positives that came from that day, and all the days leading up to it. Here's a list:
Negative: I calculated my training miles and hours, and here's the totals--since January 1, 2008 I: Swam 296,050 meters; biked 3,949 miles (many of them done on the trainer); ran 641 miles. Total training hours: 613.75. That's a lot of training to do and not finish the "A" race of the year.
Positive: That's a lot of training, PERIOD! While I didn't get to my goal weight (another negative), I know that my body can endure a lot of training, without being injured. OK, my knee still isn't perfect, but I think it will be much better in the next week or so.
Positive: Even though I didn't finish, I feel really good physically today. I swam four days this week, and today rode 22.5 miles, spent over an hour doing strength and core work, and swam 1000 meters. Considering I raced for over 14 hours less than six days ago, that's pretty darn good!
Negative: Something I forgot to mention. When we arrived home on Monday, we parked the car in the driveway. An hour later, it took several tries to get it started. Bottom line was it spent the next two days (and over $500) in the shop getting a new fuel pump.
Positive: We made it to and from Louisville without any problems. Thank God it didn't breakdown in Louisville, or on the way home.
(Several years ago we went to Appleton, WI for a half marathon. On the way there, the transmission died. We had to leave the car there for three days, drive home in a Ford Focus, and my husband had to drive back to pick it up. I drive a 1996 Town & Country with over 186,000 miles. These cars are notorious for transmission problems. We're on our fourth one. I KNOW, but we can't afford a new car! )
Another positive: It wasn't the transmission--YEAH!
Negative: The pictures from the race are posted. No picture of me crossing the finish line.
Positive: There are some decent pictures. I think I'll get one or two, just to remember the day. After all, it really wasn't a total loss. I did 5/6 of the race! (I know, but I'm trying to focus on the positives here, OK?)
Negative: Very bad last race of the season.
Positive: I did three other races--one sprint, two half iron distances. I won my age group in the sprint and one of the halfs, and did very respectable (PR) in the other half. Remember, Karen, accentuate the positive!
Negative....oh, forget it. I'm way to blessed to be thinking so much negative stuff now. My family loves me just the way I am. My Savior and Lord is ALWAYS in my corner. My friends will continue to be my friends and support me, not matter how bad or good of a triathlete I am.
So, enough of that. When I actually see you, don't be afraid to approach me. I promise I'll try not to start balling the minute you start talking. After all, it was ONLY A RACE!
Once again, good luck to all the competitors at Ironman Wisconsin tomorrow. Looks like you'll have good weather. Can't wait to hear all your stories.
Until next time--God bless!